相信不少人在學習英語過程中，會覺得英語很枯燥，爲了緩解大家的枯燥無味，下面yjbys網小編爲大家提供幾則英語笑話，在幫助您英語學習的過程中逗您一樂!
1.I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你爲什麼用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”
“沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵裏進，一個耳朵裏出，所以我要把它堵在裏面。”
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對不起，夫人，爲您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元!爲什麼?不是說好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子?
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。
2.Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She
watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一隻母老鼠帶着孩子出來散步，突然她看見一隻貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向着貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。”
改改,添一下
3.I work for 7 up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to
the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of
Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got
triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up
to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of
them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on
the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院裏碰面了,他們的'妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我
是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M
公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我爲四季賓館
工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什
麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
4.Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given
her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an
immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the
judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that
table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭裏，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解
釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是
學校的老師，對嗎?女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”
(這個不錯吧，哈哈，剛開始還沒完全懂呢)
