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A Case of Eloquence
A doctor once told me about one of his outpatients who suffered from the disease of eloquence:
"Please sit down," the doctor told him.
"Why should I?" the patient asked. "Are you going to deprive me of my right not to sit down?"
The doctor could say nothing but offered him a glass of water. "Have some water then.”
The patient retorted, “This is lop-sided talk, so it is absurd. Not all water is drinkable. If you put same potassium cyanide in it, it will be undrinkable. "
The doctor said, "1 didn't put any poison in it. Please rest assured."
"Who said you put poison in it? Do you mean to say that 1 am lodging a false accusation against you? Has it been written cat the indictment of the procurator that you have put poison in the water? I didn't say you had put poison in it, but you claimed that I said you had put poison in it. So you have indeed put in move poisonous poison against met"
The doctor could not but heave a sigh and switched to another topic, “It's fine today.”
The patient replied, "Nonsense! The fact that it is fine here doesn't mean that it is fine everywhere else in the world. At the North Pole, for example, it must be freezing, with strong winds, long nights and icebergs colliding with one another. . . "
The doctor couldn't help but retorted, "Ibis is not the North Pole."
The patient argued, “You can't deny the existence of the North Pole. If you do, you'll be distorting facts with ulterior motives."
Finally the doctor begged him, "Please go away."
The patient again answered back. "You have no right to order me to leave. Yours is a hospital, not a public security office. So you can't arrest me, nor shoot me to death. "
An investigation revealed the fact that this patient had joined the so-called “Lung Xiao” (An organization doing the Cultural Revolution that wrote the major articles which voiced the opinions of the Gang of Four. Here "Xiao" also implies "Loyalty to the Gang of Four.") writing group. What he was suffering from may have been the after-effects of that period.
雄辯症
一位醫生向我介紹，他們在門診中接觸了
一位雄辯症病人。醫生說：“請坐。”
病人說：“爲什麼要坐呢?難道你要剝奪我的不坐權嗎?”
醫生無可奈何，倒了一杯水，說：“請喝水吧。”
病人說：“這樣談問題是片面的，因而是荒謬的.，並不是所有的水都能喝。例如你如果在水裏攙上化學物質，就絕對不能喝。”
醫生說：“我這裏並沒有放毒藥嘛。你放心! ”
病人說：“誰說你放了毒藥了呢?難道我誣告你放了毒藥?難道檢察院起訴書上說你放了毒藥?我沒說你放毒藥，而你說我說你放了毒藥，你這纔是放了比毒藥還毒的毒藥!”
醫生毫無辦法，便嘆了口氣，換一個話題說：“今天天氣不錯。”
病人說：“純粹胡說八道!你這裏天氣不錯，並不等於全世界在今天都是好天氣。例如北極，今天天氣就很壞，颳着大風，漫漫長夜，冰山正在撞擊……”
醫生忍不住反駁說：“我們這裏並不是北極嘛。”
病人說：“但你不應該否認北極的存在。你否認北極的存在，就是歪曲事實真相，就是別有用心。”
醫生說:“你走吧。”
病人說：“你無權命令我走。你是醫院.不是公安機關，你不可能逮捕我，你不可能槍斃我。”
……經過多方調查，才知道病人當年參加過“樑效”的寫作班子，估計可能是一種後遺症。
