對散文雨前英譯文章的賞析

我心裏的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量,一滴溫柔的淚在我枯澀的眼裏,如遲疑在這陰沉的天空裏的雨點,久不落下。下面是小編分享的英譯散文《雨前》賞析,歡迎欣賞!

對散文雨前英譯文章的賞析

  雨前

  Praying For Rainfall

何其芳

He Qifang

最後的鴿羣帶着低弱的笛聲在微風裏劃一個圈子後,也消失了。也許是誤認這灰暗的淒冷的天空爲夜色的來襲,或是也預感到風雨的將至,遂過早地飛回它們溫暖的木舍。

  The last flock of pigeons have also gone out of sight after doing their final circling in the soft breeze, the sound of their whistles barely audible. They are hastening back to their warm wooden dovecote earlier than usual perhaps because they have mistaken the bleak leaden sky for nightfall or because of their presentiment of a storm.

要點:

1,此題目可譯爲Before the Rain, 現按久旱盼甘霖的主題,把它譯爲praying for the rain,其中,praying for 的意思是”求“或”祈禱“

2,“帶着低弱的笛聲“譯爲the sound of their whistles barely audible,即”勉強能聽到“或”幾乎聽不到“,譯爲faint sound of their whistle也是可以的,張培基中還提供了一種譯法,即the sound of the whistle trailing off, 但我認爲不如前兩種確切。

3,hasten to someplace意即趕往某地,之前見到過~

4,誤認爲=mistaken for

幾天的陽光在柳條上撤下的一抹嫩綠,被塵土埋掩得有憔悴色了,是需要一次洗滌。還有乾裂的大地和樹根也早已期待着雨。雨卻遲疑着。

  The willow twigs, daubed with a light green by several days of sunshine, are now covered all over with the dust and look so sickly that they need to be washed. And the perched soil and tree roots have likewise been dying for rainfall. Yet the rain is reluctant to come down.

要點:

1,“幾天的陽光在柳條上撤下的一抹嫩綠,被塵土埋掩得有憔悴色了,是需要一次洗滌。“譯爲The willow twigs, daubed with a light green by several days of sunshine, are now covered all over with the dust and look so sickly that they need to be washed.此處作者採取了順譯的方法,重點注意譯者對”灑下“”埋掩“的處理~這句話中的嫩綠也可以直譯爲柳條上的枝葉。譯爲the light green willow leaves brought on by several days of sunshine now, covered all over with dust ,look so sickly and hence need to be washed.

2,期待着=dying for, 與前文的pray for相呼應,與主題相呼應;遲疑着即“不願意下“=be reluctant to

我懷想着故鄉的雷聲和雨聲。那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,彷彿春之芽就從凍土裏震動,驚醒,而怒茁出來。細草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的枝葉而開出紅色的花。這些懷想如鄉愁一樣縈繞得使我憂鬱了。我心裏的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量,一滴溫柔的淚在我枯澀的眼裏,如遲疑在這陰沉的天空裏的雨點,久不落下。

  I can never forget the thunderstorm we often had in my home town. Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. Then tenderly stroked by the soft hands of fine rain, they would put forth bright green leaves and pink flowers. It makes me nostalgic and melancholy to think about the old times and my mind is as depressed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty. A tear stands in my dull eye and, like the rain lingering in the murky sky, is slow to roll down.

要點:

1,“那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,彷彿春之芽就從凍土裏震動,驚醒,而怒茁出來。“譯爲Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. 原文中的3個動詞。”振動驚醒,和怒茁“其實是遞升的關係,張先生在翻譯時同時運用了主動語態和被動語態,使得原文的遞升意義不復存在。現提供另一段譯文。Those mighty crashes rumbled and reverberated from mountain valley to mountain valley, as if the new shoots of spring were shaking in the frozen gound, awakening, and bursting forth with a terrifying vigour.。這段譯文很好地體現了遞升的手法,同學們可以對比記憶。

2,“細草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的.枝葉而開出紅色的花。“突出地使用書面語或文學性詞彙,也是本文的特色之一,加之這句話既有通感,又有擬人,因此在選詞方面要尤爲注意

3,“我心裏的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量“不宜按字面直譯,可理解爲” 我的心情抑鬱,和北方大地乾旱達到同樣嚴重的程度。“將其比喻的意思翻出來,譯爲my mind is as depressed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty.

4,“久不落下“漢語的否定結果比較單純,否定詞只有“不”、“非”、“否”、“勿”、“別”、“無”、“未”、“莫”、“不是”、“沒有”、“決不”、“毫無”、“幾乎沒有”、“幾乎不”等簡單的詞彙,漢語的傳統是傾向於動詞否定。

英語的否定除藉助詞彙手段外,還藉助句子結構和特殊表達方式來表達否定概念,既有動詞否定,也有名詞否定的習慣。

此處譯者譯爲is slow to roll down, 是使用系表結構~表達了了形式上肯定,意義上否定的方法。

白色的鴨也似有一點煩躁了,有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝裏傳出它們焦急的叫聲。有的還未厭倦那船一樣的徐徐的划行。有的卻倒插它們的長頸在水裏,紅色的蹼趾伸在尾後,不停地撲擊着水以支持身體的平衡。不知是在尋找溝底的細微食物,還是貪那深深的水裏的寒冷。

  White ducks have also become somewhat impatient. Some are sending out irritated quacks from the turbid waters of an urban creek. Some keep swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat. Some have their long necks submerged headfirst in the water while sticking up their webbed feet behind their tails and splashing them desperately so as to keep their balance. There is no knowing if they are searching for tiny bits of food from the bottom of the creek or just enjoying the chill of the deep water.

要點:

在處理多層定語句“有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝裏傳出它們焦急的叫聲“是譯者採用了後置定語來翻譯,譯爲the turbid waters of an urban creek,

2,第二個多層定語句“那船一樣的徐徐的划行“譯者巧妙地按其功能處理爲了方式狀語

swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat

3,“不知是在尋找溝底的細微食物,還是貪那深深的水裏的寒冷。“中的”不知…”=there is no knowing…,並且對於“寒冷”一詞的處理也比較貼切。

有幾個已上岸了。在柳樹下來回地作紳士的散步,舒息划行的疲勞。然後參差地站着,用嘴細細地撫理它們遍體白色的羽毛,間或又搖動身子或撲展着闊翅,使那綴在羽毛間的水珠墜落。一個已修飾完畢的,彎曲它的頸到背上,長長的紅嘴藏沒在翅膀裏,靜靜合上它白色的茸毛間的小黑眼,彷彿準備睡眠。可憐的小動物,你就是這樣做你的夢嗎?

  Some of them stagger out of the water and, to relieve their fatigue, begin to saunter up and down with a gentleman-like swagger in the shade of the willow trees. Then, they stand about to preen their white plumage carefully. Occasionally they give themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers. One of them, after grooming itself, turns round its neck to rest on the back, then buries its long red beak under its wings and quietly closes its small black eyes tucked away among the white find hair. Apparently it is getting ready to sleep. Poor little creature, is that the way you sleep?

要點:

1,“有幾個已上岸了。”譯爲Some of them stagger out of the water,其中stagger較come更加可取,因根據Longman詞典,swagger一詞作爲動詞的意思是to walk with a swinging movement, as if proud大搖大擺地走; 趾高氣揚地走;作爲名詞的意思是 proud manner of walking昂首闊步;趾高氣揚的走路姿態。

2,“然後參差地站着,用嘴細細地撫理它們遍體白色的羽毛,間或又搖動身子或撲展着闊翅,使那綴在羽毛間的水珠墜落。”在此譯者譯爲Then, they stand about to preen their white plumage carefully. Occasionally they give themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers.兩個分句,我們也可以將原句以“站”、“撫理”、“搖動”、“撲展”等並列動詞構成的一句,從語法的角度可以理解爲一個並列句,以多動詞句的角度理解翻譯,譯爲Then, standing in disarray, preening their white plumage carefully, they occasionally gave themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers.

3,“一個已修飾完畢的,彎曲它的頸到背上,長長的紅嘴藏沒在翅膀裏,靜靜合上它白色的茸毛間的小黑眼,彷彿準備睡眠。”譯爲One of them, after grooming itself, turns round its neck to rest on the back, then buries its long red beak under its wings and quietly closes its small black eyes tucked away among the white find hair. 對於這種多動詞的句子,使用現在分詞和過去分詞是最常用的方法。

4,“你就是這樣做你的夢嗎?”譯者在此將做夢譯爲sleep,個人覺得dream 更好一些~

我想起故鄉放雛鴨的人了。一大羣鵝黃色的雛鴨遊牧在溪流間。清淺的水,兩岸青青的草,一根長長的竹竿在牧人的手裏。他的小隊伍是多麼歡欣地發出啾啁聲,又多麼馴服地隨着他的竿頭越過一個田野又一個山坡!夜來了,帳幕似的竹篷撐在地上,就是他的家。但這是怎樣遼遠的想象啊!在這多塵土的國度裏,我僅只希望聽見一點樹葉上的雨聲。

  The scene recalls to my mind the duckling raiser in my home town. With a long bamboo pole in hand, he would look after a large flock of gosling-yellow ducklings moving about on the limpid water of a shallow brook flanked on both sides by green grass. How the little creatures jig-jigged merrily! How they obediently followed the bamboo pole to scamper over field after field, hillside after hillside! When night fell, the duckling raiser would make his home in a tent-like bamboo shed. Oh, that is something of the distant past! Now, in this dusty country of ours, what I yearn for is to hear the drip-drip of rain beating against leaves.

要點:

1,“清淺的水,兩岸青青的草,一根長長的竹竿在牧人的手裏” 與英語比較起來,漢語在表達思想時,有突出主題而忽略主語的現象。因此對於無主句我們通常要找主語,而主語通常爲已知的信息。此處譯者將此句譯爲With a long bamboo pole in hand, he would look after a large flock of gosling-yellow ducklings moving about on the limpid water of a shallow brook flanked on both sides by green grass.不僅譯出主語,還做了變通,顯出文學性,但我們在翻譯這類句子是,一般採用順譯的方法,比較保險。下面兩種譯法供大家參考A great swarm of yellowish crane ducklings floated in the streams , the shallow blue water beneath, the green grass on both banks, and the long bamboo pole in the hands of the tender.

A great crowd of light yellow ducklings would be taken to the waters of the creek----limpid water, lush green grass on the banks, and a long bamboo staff in the herder's hand.

2,“他的小隊伍是多麼歡欣地發出啾啁聲”翻譯擬聲詞時,雖然英語和漢語有很多詞是可以對應的,但漢語的擬聲詞作爲形容詞,而英語的擬聲詞多爲動詞和名詞。因此我們在翻譯的時候要對詞性和句形做調整。“唧唧叫”可譯爲cheep或chirp,jig-jig做擬聲詞用到的不多,(查完詞典發現它居然還有些少兒不宜的意思,,,,建議大家還是用c開頭的兩個~

“這是怎樣遼遠的想象啊!”可以用how,此處用的that,同學們也可以學習下~譯者使用現在時翻譯,增加描述的生動性和現實感

我仰起頭。天空低垂如灰色霧幕,落下一些寒冷的碎屑到我臉上。一隻遠來的鷹隼彷彿帶着憤怒,對這沉重的天色的憤怒,平張的雙翅不動地從天空斜插下,幾乎觸到河溝對岸的土阜,而又鼓撲着雙翅,作出猛烈的聲響騰上了。那樣巨大的翅使我驚異。我看見了它兩脅間斑白的羽毛。

  When I look up at a gray misty pall of a low-hanging sky, some dust particles feel chilly on my face. A hawk, seemingly irked by the gloomy sky, swoops down sideways out of nowhere, with wings wide-spread and immovable, until it almost hits the hillock on the other side of the brook. But it soars skywards again with a loud flap. I am amazed by the tremendous size of its wings. And I also catch sight of the grizzled feathers on its underside.

要點:

1,“天空低垂如灰色霧幕”譯爲a gray misty pall of a low –hanging sky,等於a low-hanging sky resembling a gray misty pall.同樣的栗子如:a toy of a house=a toy-like house,a dwarf of a man=a dwarf –like a man.

2,”遠來的“譯爲out of nowhere(不知從哪兒來的), 通常我們譯爲coming from afar, 但前者更爲傳神貼切。

3,“沉重的天色”是一個移就修辭格的表達,作者把原來屬於形容人的心情的“沉重”

轉移到形容非生命的“天空”,譯爲the gloomy sky,也可以參考第一段譯爲leaden sky

然而雨還是沒有來。

  Then I hear its loud cry — like a powerful voice from the bottom of its heart or a call in the dark for its comrades in arms still no rain.

要點:

1,“伴侶“此處有”戰友“的含義,故譯comrade in arms

2,” 然而雨還是沒有來” 語篇中有一些與長句交織在一起的短句,這些短句的不時出現,像音樂中不時出現在主旋律旁邊的一個副旋律,共同組合成一個和諧的音樂篇章。因此對於這個短句,譯者也進行了短句處理。長短句結合,體現散文的美美美!